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Offensive pick up lines in 2024

Are you an alarm clock?
Because I want to kill you.

I just pooped in my bed. Can I sleep in yours?

If you were a booger, I’d definitely pick you.

Your eyes are as blue as toilet water.

Did you just fart?
Because you blew me away!

Wow, you have a the chin of Superman. I bet you could take a serious punch.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
It must have, considering that you clearly landed on your face.

If you were a comatose patient, I’d pull the plug.

Do you wanna come dance with the big bad wolf?
[ No! ] Its okay, the other two pigs said no too!

I would ask you if you are tired from running through my mind all day, but from the looks of it, you don’t do any running.

This must be puppy love I’m feeling towards you! You remind me of my dear dog.

You’re as rude as a trespasser! You didn’t even ask permission when entered my heart and thoughts.

Are you cancer?
Because you’re starting to grow on me.

You remind me of my brother/sister.

There will only be 7 planets after I destroy Uranus.

Whenever I see kites flying in the sky, I think of you. Just like them, you’re only beautiful at a distance.

If you were a car door, I would slam you all night!

My feelings of love for you are like the stars in the sky. They’re probably long dead.

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