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Medical pick up lines 🏥💊 in 2024

What do you and a febrile patient have in common?
You’re both hot.

Come to my office and take off my pants

Are you a C-reactive protein?
Because you have acute-phase! (a-cute-face*)

You’re the sinoatrial node of my heart. Without you, even a defibrillator won’t save me.

If I said you had a monoclonal antibody, would you hold it against me?

They don’t call me Bones because I’m a doctor.

If I were a coronary artery… I’d be wrapped around your heart!

If I was an endoplasmic reticulum, how would you want me? smooth or rough?

You make my heartbeat like a drop of epinephrine.

You shift my emotional oxy-hemoglobin saturation curve to the left! Easy to bind, hard to let go.

Hey girl, are you a pulmonary embolism? Cause you’re making me breathless..

Hey I’m a medullary thyroid carcinoma and you’re a pheochromocytoma. We’re MEN 2B

You raise my dopamine levels.

The way you ask me leaves me aphasic.

How about we ditch this joint and go study some anatomy?

I can tell you the 20 bones you gave me.

Don’t you worry baby, my ligand and your receptor are perfect for each other.

Are you COPD?
Because you take my breath away.

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